Making Conversations Easier!

Yesterday I brought up a topic for discussion that I, at least hope (lol), you found interesting. Today I will expand on that and outline some things that you can do to make conversations with someone you like easier.

(I can see the look of "finally he gets around to giving advice instead of asking questions all the time!" :P.)

To review, I stated that calling someone you like can be a difficult thing to do. I stated that being nervous about calling was only a symptom and not the reason why the task is so daunting. Social expectancies, all the little things that are expected of us in these conversations make it so nerve-wracking. There are some things that you can do to alleviate the nervousness while still being able to call that ever-like-able person of yours (and no, you can not simply not call them :P haha).

1.) Throw out the social expectations and precedents!
The two day rule, gone! The need to have a lengthy conversations, the need for you to be the one that keeps the conversation flowing, gone! The need for you to ask questions but be sure not to talk too much, gone! All these little things that are ingrained into us that we are expected to do simply to have a conversation with a cute girl (or boy depending on who's reading this) is simply ridiculous! As if we needed more pressure! :P lol. Therefore, the first thing to do is simply ignore them. If you like the person, then like them, don't fall into the seeming social bureaucracy where everything needs to be done precisely and in triplicate just to have a simple conversation! So throw out the traditional social rules and just be you (or if it's around the first date, the person you're pretending to be (/sarcasm), but that's a whole other issue and blog!)!

Now that we've eliminated some of the pressure, the thought of calling her/him doesn't seem as daunting does it? You're still nervous thou? In that case:

2.) Be honest about being nervous:
If you are nervous about talking to them, just tell them instead of trying to hide it which just adds to the nervousness and makes the conversation needlessly more difficult. Chances are, they are a little nervous as well, and knowing that you are both a little nervous, you can then just relax knowing that you are not alone. And if the other person isn't nervous, well at least there's still a good chance they'll find it cute haha. My point thou is that once you get past that initial conversation, you'll be much less nervous from then on out and if you are straightforward about it from the start you may just get through calling them for the first time w/out feeling nervous at all :D.

Okay so you got through that conversation, but they have not returned your call and you don't want to call them b/c you are a)nervous or (more likely) b) don't want to seem "desperate," which is just ridiculous.

3.) Call them!
If you felt that the first conversation went well, or even if it did not, and you feel like you want to call them, just do it! See tip # 1 for why. If you want to talk to them, then do just that and don't let social weirdness (I mean "norms" and precedents :P) get in the way. You should not sit around and wait for them to call you, be proactive! Whether you are a guy or a girl, if you can't call them when you feel like it, are they really someone you should like anyways? lol. Everyone is busy, and they may want to call you but simply have a lot on their minds, and that's just life. You have to understand that, and forgive them for being too busy sometimes. Chances are good thou that they may simply be doing the same thing you are, waiting for you to call them! :D.

I hope that I've made my point, and that I've helped someone with these tips. I think that if you at least made it as far as reading tip #1 you are aware of my feelings on these little social rules in the "game" that is our lives :P. Basically I see no point in these little rules as they only make conversations harder. By not following them and just being myself, things are so much easier! :D I've broken so many of these social rules that we are all expected to follow when first meeting someone you like and getting to know them, and I do not regret not following the precedents and playing the "game." And besides, I'm seen as more "spontaneous," ;).

So what's your take on this? Obviously if you're a "player" (lol) you may not like that I'm throwing out your rulebook.. haha. Do you think these social rules are a good thing?